Never Alone

Jesus felt alone.

Mark 15:34 says, “And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?’” (which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)

Have you ever felt that?

Oh God, why have you forsaken me?

I have felt it. Even though I didn’t fully comprehend it, I felt it.

All alone.

Empty and alone.

Confused and alone.

Distraught, head spinning, and alone.

Until I eventually succumbed to the belief that this was where I would live—alone.

I made a vow to myself that no one could be trusted and that I would have to survive on my own. If I could come to a place so dark, a place that took the lives of unborn babies, then nothing and no one was safe. I had to survive alone.

But God says we are never alone. 

I surrendered my life to Him 20 years ago, and now I find myself revisiting this truth again.I asked God to reveal the source of fear and anxiety in my life, and it keeps leading back to one thing: the fear of being alone—feeling so alone.

But it’s a lie. I have been living my life based on a lie. I made that vow because I could not physically, mentally, or emotionally handle my reality at the time. In a way, it was my escape—my protection. This false protection kept me empty and isolated.

But today, I am fully aware of this truth; though I will never be perfect, I am free. And the good news is that we are never alone. 

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Joshua 1:5)

-S.B.